In life, this is what i learn.
1) Never ever give your heart to the wrong person
who never ever trust you.
It's sad to know that even after giving your all,
i was being misjudged and misunderstood.
It doesnt matter if you love the person so deeply,
cuz to the other person, you are just
a bittersweet memory...
It doesnt matter if you were true, It doesnt matter
if he is the only one you thought about,
Cuz at the end of the day, all the above doesnt matter.
It doesnt matter whether you are inncocent.
It doesnt matter whether your conscience is clear
and you did nothing wrong.
All that doesnt matter as long one PARTY chose
not to trust, believe and most importantly
when that party decided to DROP everything even
though the truth did not prevails.
I learn something important today.
Never ever love someone who dont trust you.
Sad sad situation. But, this situation it taught me
never ever love someone that DONT BELIEVE IN YOU!!
Im really emotionally drained by this experience.
Ive cried way too much. Im hurt way too much.
Was it worth it?
Was it worth being in denial,
and leaving scar to get bigger and bigger?
I only come to accept the fact,
that its not worth getting hurt no more.
Rina, you gotta wake up.
Its not worth it.
2) On the other hand, Im amaze why
despite me still hanging on my past,
still clinging on the history, complaining
and been in denial for year,
there is that someone who never relentlessly
listen to me being emo for the past 2 years.
Im surprise HOW can anyone endure someone like me?
Im surprise to know why would anyone like a girl
who always talk about her history,
who simply cant just move on with her life,
who cant accept the fact it was o-v-e-r donkey years ago.
In relationship, it really take two hands to clap.
I dont want to love someone too much, too deep,
and in return not being trusted at all.
I dont want a guy to love me too much, too deep,
but I cant give him anything at all,
I dont want to weigh him down with my baggage.
Good guys dont deserve any emotional baggage from me. They dont.
I guess, being apart from emotional attachment at
this moment is beneficial to me.
How I wish, its a norm being single in this world.
How I wish everyone can live independently,
instead of relying on a "soulmate"
Cuz work has been really hectic, I didnt had much
time to think anything related to the heart.
Im still taking my time to sort this out.
Im still taking my time to do the right thing.
I need to analyze the situation, think what i really want in life,
think what i want to achieve in life, think of my future,
then, decide on what i will do and what action(s) i am going to take.
It may be a life-changing decisions.
I have to make a life-changing decision.
We dont have eternity to try out different means to achieve our goals.
I got to be decisive and think thoroughly before executing anything.
Im waiting for Sunday to come.
Hopefully, this trip will be a life-changing experience for me,
and hopefully when im back, i am more certain
what I plan to do with my life.
When you really matter to someone,
that person will always make time for you.
No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises.
I need someone who can do just that for me,
and vice versa.
Being a Math teacher looks fun,
but the work needed to be done before teaching is CRAZY!
The need to align with 21st Century Skills,
the need to invent and create hands on activities
are indeed time consuming.
Topics like Number to 10 may be easy but but but....
executing the lessons in a way the students will be able to
grasp the concepts...is AN another story!
*breathe in breathe out*
Now, that the school is expanding fast,
with a new campus and all,
the stress and challenges are getting pretty visible now.
But, above all..........Im pretty excited
excited to try my utmost best!
Excited to know and learn more about my new students.
Life will not be the same anymore.
Hopefully, I wont go bonkers like the Math Teacher
in the picture above!
"Oh Tuhanku, berikan padaku kekuatan ...."
